The I-lived-in-Hippieland Hamburger Helper Recipe

The I-lived-in-Hippieland Hamburger Helper Recipe

Take a box of Hamburger Helper and open it up.
Throw away the box because you already know how to make Hamburger Helper.
Remember you don't really have the proportions memorized and fish the box out of the trash.
Remember you also don't have any hamburger
Brown some tofu in olive oil and soy sauce.
Curse yourself for only having soft tofu in the house.

Add the pasta and envelope of tasty chemical goodness to the mix, cook according to directions on the box.
Add plain yogurt instead of milk because you don't have any milk.
Whoa does that make the sauce thick!
Add tons of chili powder and some nutritional yeast because both of those things are awesome.
Whoa, it's almost a solid!
Let it sit while you wait for the Verizon guy to come back.
Offer him some.
Don't be surprised if he says no.
Eat it yourself.
Yum!

Optional: Apologize to the Verizon guy for the mess in the house, to which he might say "are you like OCD or something, your bed is made! No one makes their bed." Is that true? Do other people not make their bed? It's always the first thing I do as soon as I get out of it. Well after I pee and drink some diet Mountain Dew.

Let me say in conclusion, I am obsessed with nutritional yeast. I never ate it until I lived with in Portland for a while, and before long very long, my partner started actually saying "go get me x or y (whatever food item) and DON'T ADD NUTRITIONAL YEAST." I very rarely have it in the house because I will literally put it on everything.